How to say no: The art of denying politely.

Many of us often hesitate to say no to other people. You do not know how to say no even its just a very small word consisting of only two letters and yet it gets difficult to say it.  Researchers say that saying no as it is an emotionally intelligent skill that is difficult to master. They say that people feel both awkward and disgraced to say no. So whenever anyone asks us anything we often tend to say ‘yes’. Whereas in reality we feel exactly the opposite. It can be because we already have a thousand of more things to do or may be we did it just the please the person on the opposite side. In the process of pleasing others we compromise with our own selves and it impacts our mental health.

How to say no: The art of denying.

Why saying no gets difficult?

It is important to realize that if you are not able to say no it is not only your problem. There are thousands of more facing the same challenge of saying no. Many people agree upon things which they would not agree. And this is just because they want to avoid the awkwardness of saying ‘no’. We do this just because we want to protect our relationships. So we might say yes to things as we do not want to be perceived as difficult individuals. Also part from this there is another big reason why we pour out yes most of the times. This happens because since our childhood we had not been taught how to advocate for ourselves. We have always been taught to say yes as it will give the the tag of being ‘good’. Because of all these we forget that we have a threshold to accommodate others. When we are at work we are afraid to say no to our seniors or colleagues. it makes us feel degraded that we cannot accomplish a certain task and that it might makes us look incompetent.

Why saying no is a good thing?

Saying no is one of the first step that we take towards loving ourselves. Washington says that it is one of the best forms of self care that we can indulge in. It helps us in creating space in within our daily hectic schedules to rest, refresh and rejuvenate. We get to spend enough time with our loved ones- friends and family. Apart from this it saves us time to indulge in activities that gives us the much needed satisfaction and help us align with our current goals. We must keep in mind that only us have the power over ourselves. Only we are responsible for our actions and we have complete power over it. So it is very important that we learn to exercise that power.

How to say no?

  • To say ‘no’ we must learn to gather enough courage to speak up and say no.
  • To kick-start with the process of saying no you must always keep a few things in mind. You should know if saying yes will prevent you from focusing on anything else that’s more important.
  • If you have to take a much needed break then it is better that you refuse.
  • Most importantly you must be thinking whether saying no would be good for your mental health or will it worsen it even more.
  • It is important that you remain crystal clear regarding your reason to say ‘no’.
  • An unclear answer can make the conversation awkward and confuse the other person, so you should be clear enough with your reasons so that no one is left wondering with whatever you are trying to say.
  • At times someone may be in dire need and making a request to you for the same. But you have to say no for some reason or the other and so you naturally feel bad. But the thing that is most important is your determination to stand firm on your grounds and not agreeing to the alternative.

 

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